Does Social Anxiety Keep You from Jumping into the Dating Pool?

Relationships are the most challenging aspect of life with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). Typically, these individuals are hesitant to interact with others, have difficulty speaking in public, are frequently self-conscious, and worry about what other people think of them. It’s important to understand that Social Anxiety Disorder is not the same as being simply shy; those who are afflicted worry about being rejected or embarrassed in social situations. In addition to feeling hesitant when trying new relationships, those with mental health issues struggle internally due to self-consciousness and negative thoughts. This disorder can negatively affect people by making them feel lonely, having fewer friends, and preventing them from meeting other people who share their interests and hobbies.

Know that you are not alone!

Approximately 19.2 million people in the United States alone have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, an anxiety disorder that is characterized by an intense fear of social situations.

Men have a more difficult time in a dating scenario. Men are typically expected to take the lead in dating situations by society. A man with this condition is frequently concerned about what they will say during their date. They are afraid of looking foolish or unintelligent. In some cases, individuals suffering from social anxiety disorder may be unable to interact with others or appear “stuck up” or impolite because they don’t say much in social gatherings.

Women, in general, are more concerned about what others may think of them. Their appearance, in particular, is cause for anxiety. They frequently believe that everything from their nails to their shoes provides someone the chance to make a critical remark on them.

What about online dating?

Online connection and communication may appear to be more appealing when you have social anxiety but proceed with caution. People who suffer from SAD are prone to perceiving internet connections as simpler, safer, and better-controlled than face-to-face interactions, according to recent research. As a result of this mentality, people who suffer from Social Anxiety often develop an overabundance of internet usage and a tendency to avoid face-to-face situations, which, if you have Social Anxiety Dating, you already know are challenging. Online dating, on the other hand, might also be a wonderful method to meet individuals and get to know them before actually meeting them in person.

Here are some suggestions to ease your dating anxiety:

Talk about topics that interest you

Although this is probably the last thing you want to do, understanding and knowing each other are required for genuine intimacy. You can’t have one without the other. This doesn’t imply you should spend the entire conversation telling your life story; instead, think about sharing something or someone significant to you or what you think about other topics.

Concentrate on the present moment

Consider how you’re feeling right now and what you’re doing or eating. Don’t worry about the past or the future; instead, try to focus on the present.

Allow yourself to be who you are

With your unique insights, experiences, and personality, you are a valuable individual. Take charge of who you are and what you can offer someone in a relationship by embracing that.

Assume the best, not the worst

Your date might have some thoughts about you, but don’t leap to conclusions. It is easy for anxiety to dominate us when we make assumptions about what others think or feel, but assuming is not only unfair to you but them as well.

Replace your negative ideas with a more positive perspective

You can try to identify and disrupt distorted thoughts ahead of time as well. Whenever you hear that voice in your head telling you that someone isn’t into you or that you’re weird, ask yourself questions like, “Is it possible I misunderstood their text?”, “Am I listening to my friend or trying to read their mind?” You can stop distorted thoughts from happening by identifying and disrupting them.

It is important to seek help if you or someone you know has Social Anxiety Disorder. Contact our office today at 770-817-9200 today to learn about your options for enjoying life to the fullest and getting back into that dating pool.

Author Angelo Sambunaris, M.D.

How To Deal With Depression: Understanding What You’re Feeling And Where To Start

Depression is more than just feeling sad or having a bad day. It is a real medical condition that can affect how you think, feel, and function in daily life. If you are searching for how to deal with depression, it often means something does not feel right, and you are looking for answers. That is a meaningful first step. You are not alone, and there are ways to feel better. (more…)

The Vicious Cycle: How Anxiety Fuels Insomnia (and Keeps You Awake at Night)

Is Insomnia a Symptom of Anxiety?

For many people, bedtime is meant to be a moment of relief. A chance to finally slow down after a long day. But when you are living with anxiety, the opposite can happen. The lights go out, everything gets quiet, and suddenly your mind feels louder than ever. Thoughts start racing. Your body feels tight and restless. You want to sleep, you need to sleep, but it just will not come. So, the question you may be asking at 2 am – “Is insomnia a symptom of anxiety?” (more…)

Halloween

The fall brings many of our favorite things: piles of brightly colored leaves, apple cider with donuts, and cooler temperatures that allow us to turn off our air conditioners finally! But for many, the spooky season of Halloween time only highlights the nightmares that interfere with sleep and quality of life. Today we examine the relationship between anxiety and the nighttime disturbances of nightmares and night sweats.

Nightmares and anxiety

If you have frequent nightmares, you have parasomnia — a type of sleep disorder that includes unwanted disturbances while you’re falling asleep, during sleep or when you’re waking up. Nightmares and bad dreams are overlapping and common forms of parasomnia. Nightmares can be thought of as “vivid, disturbing, or frightening dreams that cause a startled awakening (Levin & Nielsen, 2007)”, and bad dreams are “very disturbing dreams which, though being unpleasant, do not cause the dreamer to awaken” (Robert & Zadra, 2008).

An anxiety dream falls under this umbrella as well; it is any dream that causes stress or distress. You might feel panicked or nervous during the dream, but often these feelings continue even when you wake up or worse, linger on during your day.

Although nightmares often inspire feelings of terror more intense than general anxiety, these also count as anxiety dreams, since anxiety during the day can make nightmares more likely. Nightmares can be triggered by many factors outside of anxiety including trauma (such as an accident or other events), irregular sleep cycles/schedule, some medications, substance abuse and/or withdrawal, and other medical conditions such as depression, heart disease or cancer.

However, the primary cause of nightmares is stress or anxiety. Sometimes, the ordinary stresses of daily life, such as a conflict at work or school can trigger a nightmare. A major life change, such as a move or the death of a loved one, can have the same effect. Experiencing anxiety is associated with a greater risk of nightmares.

How does anxiety trigger nightmares?

As you might already know, your brain remains active while you sleep. The brain uses this time to carry out critical functions required to refresh your body and optimize your brain function during your waking hours. Part of this process that happens when you sleep includes encoding experiences and sensations into memory and organizing all that data, much like a filing system.

It follows, then, that if your recent thoughts and feelings cause stress and fear, your dreams will likely follow a similar pattern. Not everyone living with anxiety will have bad dreams, but research does suggest anxiety can play a significant part in nighttime distress.

In a 2014 study, those who met criteria for generalized anxiety disorder had more bad dreams than participants who didn’t have anxiety. Bad dream frequency was significantly associated with depression, anxiety, worry, and poor quality of life. The study also showed that bad dreams led to greater daytime feelings of anxiety and depression and lower quality of life. In short, anxiety, and nightmares can feed into each other, creating an unpleasant cycle.

Night sweats and anxiety

Night sweats are something you probably recognize if you are experiencing them, but clinically it is defined as being flushed, very hot, and sweating for no apparent reason. This can happen when trying to rest, go to sleep, or when waking up, even though the room temperature is normal or cool. There may be a medical reason for your night sweats your body fighting off a virus or bacteria. What’s more, night sweats can be caused by perimenopause, menopause, the aftereffects of menopause, or by other hormonal problems. Night sweats can come and go infrequently, occur on a regular basis, or go on every night for what seems to be indefinitely.

Anxiety night sweats may precede, accompany, or follow an escalation of other anxiety sensations and symptoms (things like nervousness, anxiety, fear, and elevated stress) or occur with no obvious trigger. It can also come in waves, where it’s strong one moment and eases off the next.

Why does anxiety cause night sweats?

In short, an over-active mind causes the physical symptoms associated with night sweats. Your stress response in your head causes a physical response in your body including changing your body’s metabolism, respiration, and perspiration. This response is why the heart beats harder and faster, breathing becomes shorter and shallower, and we sweat.

Experiencing night sweats is a common consequence of a stressed or anxious mind, and an indication of how the body can mismanage itself based on our mental state. When the nervous system is healthy, it manages these systems and functions normally and invisibly for the most part. But when the nervous system becomes hyper-stimulated on a regular basis, the body is more apt to move from “thinking to feeling” in a shorter time span – a type of muscle memory if you will. Nightmares and the stress responses they trigger can also be a cause, or part of the circle of night sweats.

What to do if you are experiencing nightmares or night sweats on a regular basis

It’s always wise to seek support if your symptoms begin affecting your work, relationships, or overall quality of life. The best way to combat the negative effects of anxiety is to prevent them in the first place! Dr. Sambunaris suggests changing your sleep habits first:

Create an atmosphere that is conducive to great sleep. Build in time to wind down that includes taking a warm shower, banning screen time and devices, and/or reading a book. Keep the lights low, the temperature cool, and sounds to a minimum.
Once you’re in bed, let your mind wander to positive thoughts like going to your own “happy place,” positive things about your day, or expressing gratitude for the people in your life.
Make time for exercise during the day – studies have shown that even just 30 minutes of moderate aerobic activity during your day may help you sleep better.
Avoid caffeine and other stimulants during the day (or at least after lunch) to give your brain the best chance of relaxing at night.

If you have tried all of these suggestions, and you still find that your sleep disturbances are affecting your quality of life, it’s time to talk to a physician like Dr. Sambunaris who specializes in anxiety disorders. Recurrent or long-lasting stress and anxiety could be a sign of a more serious mental health issue that will not go away on its own. Make an appointment to get a clear diagnosis of what is keeping you up at night by calling 770-817-9200.

Sources: https://mayocl.in/3SUZcvI https://bit.ly/3ejLLGH https://bit.ly/3RStBtc

Author Angelo Sambunaris, M.D.

Meridian, ID

Does Social Anxiety Keep You from Jumping into the Dating Pool?

Recent Posts

More Than Just a Bad Day: Recognizing Depression and What Can Help